I bloody love Christmas.

I once, as a plucky undergraduate, took part in a pantomime based on the Nativity story, up in Newcastle-upon-Tyne - the slogan on the t-shirts was the one above. And I think we all agreed on the sentiment. Although I preferred my one: "An eye for a why-aye leaves everyone blind drunk."

[As guitarist in the band, I was less enamoured with the mandatory wearing of antlers in the band pit; a sartorial albatross that continues to haunt me.]

So, that's why I followed the career path of the musician, rather than joke writer.