Jesus is not the only birthday boy this week. There is another son of a virgin and a god born at this time.

Having a divine father and human mother was pretty routine in ancient mythology - Dionysus, Zoroaster, Perseus, Jason, Minos and Asclepius did, among others.

And Herakles, son of Zeus and the virgin Alcmene.

He was not just a strong man who performed Twelve Labours and became the star of a slightly daft TV series, he was worshipped around the Attic world as a saviour who died and rose again.

I bloody love Christmas.

I once, as a plucky undergraduate, took part in a pantomime based on the Nativity story, up in Newcastle-upon-Tyne - the slogan on the t-shirts was the one above. And I think we all agreed on the sentiment. Although I preferred my one: "An eye for a why-aye leaves everyone blind drunk."

[As guitarist in the band, I was less enamoured with the mandatory wearing of antlers in the band pit; a sartorial albatross that continues to haunt me.]

So, that's why I followed the career path of the musician, rather than joke writer.